I could start this blog with nostalgia filled tales of
growing up on Nintendo or remind you all of the Zelda wedding cake topper, but
you see... I’m grumpy. And it’s all Nintendo’s fault.
Last Thursday night I received my shiny new copy of Starfox
Zero. Here was an HD reimagining of one my favourites from yesteryear. For you
non-gamers it was probably the equivalent of buying tickets for the The Force
Awakens. It’s that thing you loved, remoulded into something new but filled
with nods to what the kid version of you bloody loved. Now imagine you’re
sitting in the cinema, the film starts on screen and then… You’re asked to look
at the floor, then back again, then do a handstand whilst rubbing your belly
and aaaAARRRGH!
I’ve played plenty of bad to average games before but never
have I found a game as frustrating as this. Flicking your eyes between two
screens whilst constantly moving, working two control sticks and using motion
controls… Mental. I went online to see if I was playing it wrong and found a
bunch of suggestions on different sitting positions, ways to cross your leg and
ideas on moving your furniture to a different angle. When it gets to that point
then it’s probably no longer a leisure activity. I wanted to love this game so
much but then I had to admit that I was just torturing myself. I sold it on Saturday
morning.
After that it was back to the interweb, to gorge myself on forums
and twitter. Starfox may have sucked but there’s always something new to look
forward too. People have been talking, hoping and getting carried away about a mythical
device we know nothing about, but we know it’s coming. Nintendo’s currnet
console is dying a slow and miserable death, there’s barely a game due out this
year and more people will read this blog than buy a new Wii U this year (…that
may be a gross exaggeration) so surely their next glorious gaming box is going
to land soon…
It has to release this Christmas! The biggest media event in
the gaming calendar is only two months away and Nintendo are going to blow us
all away with a Zelda led missile barrage of fun stuff!
I’ve said these things and I’ve read them, as has every
follower of Nintendo news bits.
Wednesday 27th april 2016, a day that will live
in infamy. Nintendo announce that there next console, codenamed the NX, will
release globally in march 2017. Zelda, the first home console Zelda since 2011
has been delayed to March 2017. At E3 in June, with the world watching, with PlayStation
and Xbox fighting for coverage… Nintendo will have one playable game.
If I had been sitting in a pram this morning, toys would
have flown through windows.
I’ve 101 thoughts on the whole thing, both positive and
negative. I’ve theories on their strategy mixed with general bemusement and
then there’s been about one moments pause to allow for “It’s only flipping
games, joe.”
I’m writing this blog because I’ve had enough of reading the
internet go ape-shit over the news. In theory 2016 looks like a write off for
the big N and there are many people delighted with the news, who’ve revelled in
Nintendo’s failure over the past four years. Despite my crazy mood swings this
morning I still have faith. They can’t mess this one up and at the end of the
day, it’s still going to come and it’ll have a new freaking Zelda with it.
Until then I’ve still got plenty to play (mostly due to
having a PS4…) On the Nintendo side it’s about time I dusted off some oldies,
instead of waiting for them to mess about with my nostalgia I should just
relive that stuff now. Let Nintendo take their time, let them make something
new. Let me getting insanely hyped another day and let me have some stress
balls at the ready just in case it’s not the greatest thing ever in all of time
and space. No pressure Nintendo.
Final thought: This quote from the main man…
I feel your frustration (notbas strongly to be fair) but I get it! Another great Blog Joe, biggest fan as usual! Keep it up! Would love a top 10 indie game of 2016 blog entry, or "10 must play indie games"
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