Hobby Struggles

I’ve had an inkling it was true but now I know for sure. Despite filling my days by reading about, talking about and playing video games… I suck at them.

Two things have brought about this realisation. The main one was mother-flipping Bloodborne. The internet warned me it was a challenge, that it was only for the most dedicated of gamers. But surely that would include me, a guy who games probably more than anyone in his social circle. Nope, nope it does not. I’ve always avoided the Dark Souls games and then Bloodborne because of how difficult people said they were. I cowered away but eventually decided to man up and face my fears. Or I found a pre-owned copy for £8 and thought “eh.” You decide. 

The first enemy I met tore me a new bumhole, but that’s ok because I was still in the learning stages. No frustration yet. That death put me in a dream section with random demon dudes handing me weapons. Then I got frustrated… I had just been handed a gun and an axe but yet my hands were empty. I had to fudging Google equipping weapons. I couldn’t eve work the menus. This was not a good omen. After that I got back and killed a werewolf, then ventured on and took down some creepy townsfolk. So much atmosphere in this game and its gothic horror tone was pulling me in. Then I died. Then I came back and tried again. I died. Got a little further, died. Youtubed someone else playing it. Came back to the game, died. Ate a bag of Haribo, tried again. Died. Watched some of the Eurovision Song Contest, realised that was more tortuous and went back to the game. I died. 

I have quit that game. I hang my head in shame. The other game that’s been confirming my gaming crapness recently; Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. It’s completely different of course and I’m still loving it but dear me I’m not actually that good. Not when pitted against other people around the world. Unlike Bloodborne it’s not kicking my ass repeatedly, no it’s a more devious shamer. This game hands me gold trophies in its cups and when I race against friend’s I’m pretty much always first. I get cocky when playing others locally and with my confidence sky high I then partake of the online modes against randoms globally. Now what the duck is going on here?! Why did I finish 11^th/8^th/etc etc How are these people so good? Does this mean… I’m not good?

Shaken to the core, I turn it all off. So much time and money spent on this hobby and it was for nothing. I have failed as a person.

Or it doesn’t really matter? Yeah probably that less dramatic answer. It bugs me that I’m not acing these games but then I think of other hobbies and if the same logic was applied most of us wouldn’t be doing them. I love cooking and generally messing about in the kitchen but I’m not entering Come Dine With Me or wondering where my Michelin Stars are. I also like writing these here blogs but I’m not pretending that the writing style of a mand-child on a sugar rush should be published on some popular website you’ve heard of. I enjoy games but I suppose I don’t have to be good at all of them.

Games aren’t all the same of course, there’s a blooming huge variety of games all requiring different skillsets. I’m not bad at platformers or action/adventure games. I can tear through a room of demons in Bayonetta but I can’t pull off basic moves in Street Fighter. I can time my jumps in Donkey Kong Country to a lovely rhythm but I can’t survive three minutes in Call of Duty. The closest comparison I can think of is sports, those bizarre hobbies ill have nothing to do with thanks. I know people that swim, run and row. I doubt they’re all amazing at rugby or the high jump. 

So my point… I’m rubbish at a lot of games, but not all of them. Being so obsessed with one hobby doesn’t mean that every facet of it is for me. Or in simpler terms, do what you like. Enjoy what’s for you and know when to quit what isn’t. I’ll be playing some Mario Kart today, probably offline. Better for my nerves that way.