My 2016 In Cinema

2016 eh? The year was defined by misery, politics and Pokémon Go. In other news: I went to the cinema…

I’m not going to pretend that is some proper review of the year in film, mainly because I've only seen like 15. This hobby, not a career damn it! So heres a blog about stuff I've seen. Other films came out too. Etc

I’ll begin by lumping together those films I’ve no strong opinions on. These have escaped my wrath but equally haven’t earned the praise of inner hyper ventilating child. 

Bridget Jones Diary. There’s nothing wrong with it (other than the chicken shit ending) but its not really aimed at me. That’s that. Fantastic Beasts. I liked it enough, it was fun.  Just like Harry Potter though it didn’t really click with me and I’ll probably have forgotten it by this time next year. That sounds a bit harsher than I mean it too. Rogue One. Controversial opinion alert… I did enjoy it but I didn’t love it. I kept thinking “if I had grown up as a big Star Wars fan then I’d like this more.” Basic reasoning, not criticising the film. Its fan service for the fan base and when the fan base is so fricking big then why the hell not? The Hateful Eight was grand. At times brilliant and at others a big old vanity project that needed someone to slap Tarantino and say ‘edit this shit down.’ 

Good or bad next? Ah let’s get the ranting out of the way… Independence Day. A painful exercise in creating nostalgia for something that was best left in the 90s. Pants. Ghostbusters. It’s just not funny, it’s a massive missed opportunity and Chris Hemsworth’s character is the worst thing I’ve seen in any film this year if not ever. Suicide Squad. Every time someone tells me that it’s not that bad I die a little inside. Character arcs and dialogue that make no fecking sense in a film that feels like the last ten years of good superhero films never happened. It’s a shitfest designed to appeal to emo teens and if people tell me they prefer it to Marvel because it’s dark then they’re getting punch in the privates. It’s set during night time, that’s it. It’s not darker in tone or theme, it’s just got a black sky as opposed to Marvel using daylight. Woop de flipping do. Now that I’ve got my blood boiling let’s move on to the worst film of 2016. Batman Vs Superman.

 Oh I hate it. It completely ruins and just doesn’t understand Superman as a character. It has Batman kill people, actually end the life of people. It has flashbacks which make no damn sense unless you’re sitting there with a DC encyclopaedia. It has Doomsday who seems to have sneaked out of the same 1990s Pandora ’s Box that some bell end yanked Independence Day out of. It has a Lex Luthor that challenges Leto’s Joker for the ‘how to fuck up an iconic villain,’ prize. It has the Martha scene. Do I need to explain that one? Shambolic, woeful and as well written as a 2 years old letter to Santa. 

Angry bit over!!! Let’s talk good stuff! Eddie the Eagle was nice and a future Sunday-afternoon-cosy film classic. Doctor Strange was another brilliant Marvel introduction. I seem to like it more than most folk do but the visuals were epic, the cape was great and I’m exited to see more. X-Men Apocalypse…  I know deep down that it’s not a masterpiece but I’ve loved those mutants for about twenty years and this was just a brilliant geek-gasm. Plus Psylocke… Deadpool was hilarious and beat all expectations. Can’t wait for that sequel. Outside of comic films I was also really fond of Room, in particular the performance of that kid. Simultaneously a depressing and lovely film.

Let’s wrap this up, my top three for the year in no particular order…. Civil War, Arrival and Kubo. You knew Civil War would be up there, a film that pits Avengers against each other, delivers a finale fight with real emotion behind it and introduces Spidey to this movie-verse. Loved it. Kubo is an animated picture that blends humour with Japanese mythology in to a fantastic adventure film. It’s just gorgeous, in both style and story. Most recent addition to the list is Arrival. This film surprised me. On its surface it’s a film about aliens and includes some military thriller type elements, but it’s the most human and most thought provoking drama I’ve seen in a long time. I came out thinking about it and wanting to talk about it, about the choices made and the feelings Amy Adams character must have had. Do not mistake or dismiss it as standard sci-fi. It’s something very unique and completely utterly brilliant.

And that’s my 2016 in cinema… Clearly the safest and sanest place to be during that mess of a year. I’m giving 2017 till February to be ok and If not then I’m hibernating in a darkened room with popcorn. It’ll be fun.