Two events were happening on the 7th that show
off new shiny new toys for the tech geeks of the world. Apple showed off the
newest iPhone iteration whilst Sony would map out the future of PS4 hardware.
Being an Android user and big ol gaming geek, there was only one show I was
hyped for and so only the one show I watched.
Got that blooming wrong didn’t I? Skipped the Great British
Bake Off to watch the PlayStation Meeting and was filled with more regret than
a doughnut has jam. It was dull. They started with the new slim model which
everyone has already seen (yes even you non-geek, assuming you read my last
blog…) Then they brought out Mark Cerny to tell us in great detail about the
PS4 Pro.
Firstly, Mr Cerny has a lovely voice and Sony should start a
side business of him reading bedtime stories for kids. Having him stand on
stage for 10 minutes talking techy stuff probably had the same effect, but I doubt
Sony wanted us nodding off…. Most of the
talk centred around 4K TVs and HDR and all that jazz. Don’t know what that
means? Me neither but my non-technical guess-timation is super-duper-HD. If you
have a fancy new 4K TV then you need this PS4 model to make your games look
extra nifty on it.
What I took from the Pro talk was not that Sony were trying
to sell me a new PS4, but rather trying to sell me one of them and a 4K TV. It’s
not working. PlayStation is Sony’s biggest product right now and with this
upgrade it felt they were tapping up that user base to flog more tellies.
Nothing was shown that would make me want to buy the Pro model without having a
new TV to go with it. If anything I prefer the one I have, because that new
model is an ugly brute of a machine. So it’s good news for me as I haven’t been
presented with an internal urge to splurge my pocket money on this new toy.
Instead I can spend it all on games themselves.
Where were all the games? Maybe I was wrong to assume there’d
be some new stuff announced but any kind of teaser would have lifted this show.
New trailers for Horizon and Mass Effect were about it. To be fair Horizon
looks lush but a 2 minute demo wasn’t enough to save a 45 minute crap show.
There was one new game announced yesterday that properly
surprised me though. At the Apple Event of all places. I checked twitter out of
a geeky curiosity to see the iPhone 7 that I won’t even buy and was instead
presented with news that left my jaw dropping harder than an Italian plumber in
the pits of a giant lizard’s castle. Yes, Mario is coming to iOS.
“What in the what now? But fudging what? Whaaaa??” was my
initial reaction. Then I kind of calmed down, stroked my chin and pondered the whole
thing. It’s an endless runner, of which there’s loads on phones already. Mario
runs automatically and you tap to make him jump. It’s a simple version of the old
platformer and Nintendo said they wanted a Mario you can play with one hand.
This is a Mario for the Candy Crush generation and one that probably everyone I
know will try at least once. Yet they won’t come round to mine to play Super
Mario 3D World…
I like that it’s not a proper Mario game, that you still
need a Nintendo console for the full experience. I view it as an advert for the
real Mario games, yet an advert that people are going to pay Nintendo to play. Which
deserves all kinds of evil genius laughs from the suits in Tokyo. I don’t like the
thought that this could lead to a radically different future were controllers
are consigned to the bins, but I’m getting worked way ahead of time. For now it’s
clever and makes sense.
It’s also really news worthy. Many people are going to hear this
news today. More people are going to read about the iPhone 7 than the PS4 Pro
and with that they’re also going to see Nintendo’s mascot in all his moustached
glory. Even my favourite couldn’t-care-about-games journo dropped it in a news
report. Sony had gamers waiting for September 7th with baited breath
whilst Nintendo have gone silent on their next console. Sony fluffed their
lines, Nintendo stole the headlines. Bravo. 
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