Pushing Buttons

Sometimes I get all excited when I talk about games. When I get a new game I usually want to tell people about it and when they’re in my humble abode I hand them the controller and insist they have a go. Usually that’s followed by that tricky question of what buttons they need to press… I forget that not all my friends spend half their free time with a controller in their hands. They do silly things like watch TV and something called ‘running.’ For me it’s all pretty logical, I grew up with them and ten minutes within most games will have me working out the gist. How hard can it be for these folks?! Take the PS4 controller for example.. That’s only got one.. two… like twenty one buttons and two sticks!! Easy!

I love my controllers but fret not, this blog is about more than pressing buttons…. And that’s because buttons are only part of the fun. Recently I’ve been playing Tearaway Unfolded, a game about a paper based dude wondering through an episode of Art Attack come to life. There’s a story and stuff and I ain’t got time to discuss it all so I’ll stick with the controller wizardry. There’s a light on the back of that controller in your hands and in this game you need to shine it. Point it at the screen to destroy the bad guys or just shine it in people’s faces to see them squirm in confusion. There’s a touch pad on the controller that with a swipe of your finger sends gusts of winds blowing through the screen, spinning the characters and near dismantling the world you’re exploring. I flipping love this stuff! The grin on my face probably matches the one from when I first joined some dots to other dots and got a picture of a dog. Genius at work.

Way back on the Nintendo DS there was a Zelda game called Phantom Hourglass. I would run about, swing my sword and do all the things I instinctively knew how to do through years of pressing buttons. Then came this room with someone stuck behind a wall and the game was telling me to shout out. I pressed every button on that machine, I turned it upside down and looked for buttons that weren’t there and I contorted my fingers in unnatural ways in order to press as many differnet combinations as possible. Eventually I lost my cool and angrily shouted hello at the stupid machine. The game replied… Puzzle solved, and a grin on my face that nearly burst my cheeks. Then of course I had my parents staring at me, having ignored my constant rubbing of the DS and calling it ‘my precious,’ they found my shouting at it to be a bit more peculiar than usual.

Super Mario 3D World on the Wii U... a friend played that like he had played any other Mario then came some propeller powered platforms. I knew already what he had to do and I told him to blow them to make them work. “What button??” came the bemused cries before eventually he blew on the controller’s mic. Platforms moved and the giggles came. Magic. 

And that’s what controllers are, pure magic. I like to look upon my black consoles and controllers, admire their sleekness and talk about the technical specifications below the covers but I’m way happier when they just melt in to my hands and ask me to do simple things that have a big impact on screen. They’re like magic tricks, ignore the fact that it’s just a set of a props and nimble hands, sit back, switch off and enjoy some smile inducing randomness.

Probably should have ended there but there’s more examples!! Controlling all of Flower by tilting the controller, watching your wife hold the controller perfectly still or she’ll be caught and killed in Until Dawn, the first time you played Wii Sports… loads more.  You get the idea. Pushing buttons is only half the fun. Enjoy

The Online Persona

A friend of mine mentioned Charlie Brooker, a journalist/writer/comedian.. I don’t know how you’d describe him other than he’s a bit twisted and completely genius. In 2013 he made a one off documentary called ‘How Videogames Changed the World.’  I am a big fan of that show. This blog isn’t really about any new idea I had, (although if you’ve been reading my other blogs then you’re probably not expecting originality) but more how I still agree with that shows big finale. Running through the history of games and covering everything from Doom to Wii Fit, the number one choice ended up being….

Twitter.

Yes, twitter is a game. Facebook is too. This blog I write also fits the pattern.  Brookers reasoning was that in Twitter you play a character, a version of yourself that’s not fully you but rather a carefully constructed version that’s playing the game in order to get rewards. Retweets, followers, Facebook likes and shares.. These are your points and just like when you’re playing Candy Crush you’re aiming for a high score. Kind of, sometimes you just do it because you’ve a low attention span and you’re not really worried about the results. It’s not an argument without holes.. Especially as you get older and realise that no witty comment you write will ever be as popular as your wife’s selfies.

The first blog I wrote had over 200 views, since then I’ve plateaued around the 70 mark. I’m glad that 70 of you seem to keep reading, cheers and all that! Otherwise I’s just be talking to myself, which is probably what reading this gibberish sounds like. Do I sound like this in real life? Hmm.. I’d say that I do, but then when friends tell you that your blogs are great and yet in real life they usually want you to shut up.. Hmmm *scratches beard* 

The last blog had some glowing praise. Well, the wife liked it. I wrote about two films I saw. People had said to me “when are you going to write about films?” so I had to deliver. Truthfully, it was my least favourite blog, not that I think any of them are literary masterpieces but I suppose it’s the one I enjoyed writing the least. I do listen to feedback and ponder which things people like reading, which blogs were good and why they were liked. Ultimately though I want to enjoy doing them and I’m really just thinking out loud here, do I chase the likes and points or just mess around a bit?

You’re going to tell me to write what I enjoy etc, and well yeah I am but… I want you to enjoy them too. Not for attention, just that it’s nice. When you tell a joke you want people to laugh, when you tell a story you want people to listen. Technically we’re all playing for points and I might be stretching the analogy here but life is one big videogame. And.. geez that sentence sounded horribly cheesy/contrived. I could change it but I’m not a fan of do-overs, I’d rather just keep digging whatever hole I’ve got myself into it.

On Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp etc etc you probably do sound a bit different than you do in reality. You’re going to be funnier, you’re going to smarter or you’re going to be a complete annoyance. You need to think about what you say and how it will be read, because talking to people in the real world (it’s what they did in the olden days) allows for you to convey the right tone and to add the right dumb facial expression that lets them know you’re not being a total bell end. Nice people can be opinionated a-holes who think they can save the world, shy and quiet people can be the wittiest of internet legends. Your strengths and weakness get exaggerated in some big random mess and the more you stare at your phone the less you probably know some people. Apart from me, i really am this interesting every single day...

In short, erm I don’t know? I’m failing at this game... Go watch that Charlie Brooker show if you can find it. Or go outside, get a coffee/pint, meet those people who live in your social network. They’re actually way better in real life, they just don’t know they’re winning

the "I should blog about films at some point" blog

‘Movies,’ makes up one third of the subject matter in my blogger title. As of five blogs I’ve pretty much just written about games so it’s probably time to change it up and avoid claims of false advertising. Those of you waiting on an entry about VideJoes are going to have to be very patient.. Or ask me when I’m drunk, I’ll make something up.

Movies then! Or films as I prefer. Do I have any ideas on interesting film topics? Well, no. I’ll just talk about what I’ve seen recently then…

The Hateful Eight is the most recent effort by Quentin Tarantino. Just to provide some background info, I bloody love Tarantino. I remember watching Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs on TV (I know the channels too), way back when I was a young ‘un. From Jackie Brown onwards I saw each film in the cinema and trips to both H8 and Django were part of birthday giftage from my wife. I love Tarantino. With Hateful Eight it became pretty clear that Tarantino also loved Tarantino. 

The way he writes dialogue is superb and the conversations between characters are always the highlight for me. From that opening exchange in Pulp Fiction and the diner chat about Fox Force 5, through to that introduction of Christoph Waltz as he nonchalantly strikes fear into a farmer. Hateful Eight is an entire film of conversations, requiring a focus on every word that’s exhausting but rewarding. It took a lot of effort to enjoy (and too much caffeine) but the main problem is that less would have worked better. Half the exchanges in the first hour could have been cut. Sam L Jackson has a speech midway designed to provoke another character which is dark, tense and the best kind of cringe worthy… but then it keeps going. And going. And flip me who’s editing this?! Rein him in a bit. Tell QT when it’s time to stop, when he’s being self-indulgent. 

Talking of reining in, I was going to talk about two films here but I could write all day about one. The rest of my points were saying things about the great performances, the sense of humour, gore etc etc. It’s not Empire you’re reading here folks, I’m the waffliest reviewer you’ll ever read. And you’ve all either seen it by now or made up your mind not too. Right the other film…

Room!

Hopefully I still have time to convince you to see this. You may have heard that its leading lady is nominated for an Oscar, and whilst she is great in her role… The film belongs to the kid, Jacob Tremblay. 

To describe the plot of this film would be to talk of something dark and uninviting but it’s really about a five year old boy who sees the world for the first time and just how overwhelming that is. His tantrums at the start will initially grate but you realise they make sense and as the story progresses he goes quieter and needs to find his voice again. So many volumes and emotions are conveyed by this little genius. The story is initially one of both him and his mother but it becomes all about him and how he sees it all. There is a scene in which he is looking at the sky (I’ll say no more for fear of spoilers) but the look on his face completely got to me, I nearly welled up and yet felt excited at the same time. Credit to the director too for portraying that moment so well, along with countless others. Brie Larson is great too by the way, I don’t mean to underplay her character too much. If the film has faults they mainly come from the knowledge that there is a book and some elements here feel like there’s a lot more behind them than the film had time to explore. In short though, it’s brilliant.

That was kind of like a proper review wasn’t it? Or I might just stick to games in future… In summary, see Room!!! Whilst you’re doing that I’ll be watching Deadpool this week. Hurrah!