Bye Bye Wii U

In less than five weeks there will be a shiny new Nintendo Switch under my TV. Until that time my only home for Italian plumber hijinks and Hero of Time adventures will be my 3DS. But what about the Wii U I hear you ask… It’s gone to the Game, traded in so that some young pup can enjoy the same wonders I’ve experienced for nearly four years… But also to fund my Switch purchase because I’m a ‘responsible adult.’ Ugh.

I loved my Wii U. I can freely admit that I’m a little bit biased towards the greatest entertainment company that ever was and ever will be. Just a little bit. The Wii U flopped, failed and is generally seen as the biggest screw up they’ve ever had (apart from the Virtual Boy). It sold just over 12 million compared to the Wii’s 100 million. It began its life confusing the flip out of parental folk who barely knew it was a new machine and assumed it was some crap tablet add on for that little dust magnet they used to play golf with. It launched with a Mario game and a bunch of stuff people could already play on their PS3. Then there was nothing of interest for months afterwards, fan boys like me were anxiously waiting to spend money on something, anything to play.

Eventually the games came but by then it was too late. It was a machine kept near exclusively by those of us who need Mario and Zelda in their gaming diets. But that’s enough doom and gloom for now because as mentioned I loved mine. Here’s why…

Bundled with the machine was Nintendoland, a collection of themed mini games set to show off the idea of having a separate screen in your hands whilst your mates looked at the TV. There weren’t half as many sessions as I wanted, with my friends preferring things like conversations.. But when it was played it was nifty. Mario Chase and Luigis Ghost hunt were fricking hilarious, especially when you had a loved up couple shouting at each other, as they tried to catch you running round a maze. Epic.

Mario Kart was another multiplayer favourite but you already know what Mario Kart is . I bring it up just to note that I used my Wii U for two to four player local gaming. I could play against my wife and my mates. I don’t even have a second controller for my PS4. The Wii U carried on that Nintendo tradition of playing and having a laugh with people in the same room. People who could challenge me and people who were so bad a tie-wearing monkey could beat them. (You know who you are, both of you)

There was plenty of solo gaming too and my collection wasn’t too shabby before I traded. It was really great for the humble platformer, a genre confined to indie productions and retro gaming. I’ve said in a previous blog about how great Rayman Legends and Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze are. Super Mario 3D World is another gem despite some folk hating it. It’s nothing like the 3D Mario template laid down by Mario 64 but instead it takes the formula of the original Super Mario Bros. and makes that 3D. I’m pretty sure that sentence made sense… Captain Toad isn’t a platformer really, but it’s great and I don’t know which other paragraph to include it in. A charming puzzler that has you studying levels and twisting the camera to reach your goal.

“But those games are for kids,” cry the idiots among you. Well shove some Bayonetta 2 in your face and let’s see how tough you are. What. A. Game. It’s utterly insane and if you follow the story whilst taking in the weird sexual jokes then yes you might wonder how the hell I like it. Play it. Die, fail, learn the controls, and go back. Probably die again. Keep playing, keep learning and in time you’ll find a game that is a ferociously fast ballet of swords, kicks and…. demons summoned through portals made from the hair suit you wear. Anyhoo, it’s amazing and easily one of the most fun games I’ve ever played.

Splatoon!! I can’t not mention Splatoon. Nintendo get accused of relying on the same characters and the same games, which at times is a fair point. Splatoon is probably the only real new IP they created this gen but it’s a good one. The PS and Xbox are filled with online shooters, usually involving gruff military blokes controlled by screaming teenagers in online matches I found about as appealing as rubbing raw onion in my eyeballs. Nintendo’s equivalent is a colourful explosion of mayhem in which you win by spraying ink everywhere. You don’t have to run up and shoot people in the face but you can. You can also avoid shooting anyone and just swim and spray your way to victory. No shooter offers as much variety in play style or allows such a variance in skill level to just have fun. It is all of the fun.

There’s way too many games for me to talk about here. It was great for Indies, with the likes of Little Inferno, Gaucamelee and Runner 2. You also had access to the vast catalogue of Virtual Console titles. I got introduced to Fire Emblem this way, had my first of Minnish Cap and also replayed some classics like Metroid Prime and Super Mario 64. There was plenty of gaming joy to be had. With so much love you’d wonder why I sold it, but I’m happy with my choice. It’s recycling. A new Nintendo awaits and I’ll love it at least as much. Goodbye Wii U, Hello Switch.

The Trainspotting 2 Review

Trainspotting first hit cinema screens back in 1996. I was 11. Back then my cinema trips were infrequent and in that year I’d have been popcorn munching during Independence Day and Matilda… Drug culture and a soundtrack encompassing Britpop and dance music were a bit too much for me. I’m fairly certain I didn’t see it until I was 14 or 15 when it would have eventually made its way to BBC 2 or C4. At that age I was ready for it. I fell in love with what would have been an outdated soundtrack and I was mesmerised by the visual flair and tricks of Danny Boyle at his energetic best. But mainly, I fell in love with those characters. They were not good people and did not do nice things, but they were memorable. I’ve watched that film multiple times and even now I know so much of it of by heart.

If my nostalgia trip for the first film does nothing for you then chances are you’ll not like T2. Or you don’t like my writing, but we’ll pretend it’s the former for now. Half of T2 is made up of revisiting the past, of reminding us of that soundtrack and of those images. The director finds new scenarios to repeat old shots and the likes of Perfect Day are given just enough time to drag us by the ears back in to this world. In a way it’s a fault too and I can appreciate the opinion that it’s not as original or punchy as the first.

Being set 20 years after the first means this film was never going to replicate that pace and dynamism. These characters are a lot older and with that comes different motivations. It’s a film about men hitting a certain age and realising how they’ve screwed it all up. Some ponder death, how it’s approaching or as a way out of the mess they’ve created. Others just look back and want vengeance for Renton taking that money in the first film. There’s no way back for any of them and for most of the film they just repeat the same failings of the past but this time with the mind-set that this is it, that it’s too late to change and they’re all fucked anyway. There’s a new take on Choose Life from the original and it sums up how technology and habits have changed but really we’re all making the same failings mentioned during the original. 

Obviously there’s more to it than that or you wouldn’t have much of a film. If you’re after a good character ark then this time Spud is your point of interest. Avoiding spoilers I’ll just say that 20 years on he’s in the worst place and the film follows his attempts to get out of that. You will feel for him, especially compared to the relentless prick-ishness of his cohorts. The performance of Ewen Bremner is the stand out of the film. 

His first scene with Renton/Mark is one of the best, delivering Boyles visual magic with a touch of gross cringe. The rest of the film is littered with slo-mo, flashbacks and creations of these characters imaginations. It’s never dull but then it’s no longer unique either. Will you remember any scene of this film the way you remember the originals toilet, baby and taxi ride scenes? No. Definitely not. That doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy the film for what it is. 

As Simon/Sickboy states “Nostalgia. That’s why you’re here. You’re a tourist in your own youth.” Maybe it’s difficult to get as excited now as we did when we were younger. I’ve a better memory of Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction and Leon than I do of most films I saw last year. So if you’re comfortable with how old you are and fancy that trip back then this is the film for you. It certainly was for me.

Nintendo Switch Presentation

Friday the 13^th of January and I, like a crazy person, got out of bed at 3am. My alarm was set for 3.30 but when I stirred and saw the clock I suddenly got the fear. What if I sleep in? What if I miss the Nintendo Switch presentation at 4am? It will be the geekiest blow out of game trailers and console selling blissfulness I can imagine. 

In hindsight I maybe should have just switched that alarm off. This was not a good show. Before I say any more I’ll confirm that I still have my pre-order in place and I’m buying the Switch on day one. I’m a fanboy though. This was supposed to be the show to convince everyone else, to sway those people who had no interest in the commercial flop that was the Wii U. I doubt they succeeded. Two reasons in particular, the price and the games. 

£280 in the UK. No game packed in. Anyone with a remote interest in games will compare that to the numerous PS4 plus game bundles you can get for £250 and they’ll see an obvious choice. It also doesn’t help that additional controllers are expensive enough to make my wallet cry. There’s a Pro controller (similar in style to the standard PS4/Xbox controller) and then there’s the ‘Joy-Cons.’ These were admittedly impressive during the show. A new HD rumble feature was demonstrated that apparently has such precision they could replicate the feeling of ice cubes being dropped in a glass. No idea how that works but it looked nifty. They also function like tiny Wii remotes, with Nintendo hoping they can repeat the success of that console your parents played bowling on. Also included is a camera which can read your hand gestures, meaning you can finally play Rock, Paper, Scissors against your Nintendo. Who hasn’t always wanted to do that? Oh… You haven’t. Yeah ok neither have I. 

On to those games. If you’re a fan of Japanese RPGS then you probably loved this show. There were teasers for new games with weird names that I can’t be bothered to type properly. There were also developers on stage telling us that they’re making games for the Switch, which led to internal screams from me of “FRICKING SHOW US THEM THEN!!” Not enough games were shown during this show and the more I read up on it after the show the more it looks like they had nothing to show. The launch line up is anaemic and Zelda aside, probably the weakest I’ve seen of nay console launch in some time. 

Arms looked kind of cool initially, with a nice graphical style and gameplay looking like arcade fun. It’s all motion controlled though, like Wii Boxing, and that’s put me off. There was a party game called 1 2 Switch which I don’t even know how to describe. A game in which you look at another player instead of a screen. Sounds completely daft but it could weirdly be that title which convinces non-gamers that this device has something for them. Nintendo have always viewed their consoles like toys in a way and with this game they could be rivalling the likes of Splat Face and Speak Out. But for £280, instead of the £20 they cost. Guaranteed winner there. 

All negative? Nah. Super Mario Odyssey was fantastic. I didn’t expect to be surprised by more Mario but the variety of locales on show and a new mechanic in which you throw your hat had me grinning from ear to ear again. Splatoon 2 is more of the same but then it’s still Nintendo’s newest and most unique IP of the past few years. The closing trailer was Zelda. Oh my…. Voice acting at last, those character designs, that world… I want to get lost in it, to play that beauty until my eyelids take control and force me to sleep. 

So in summary, I’m buying a £280 Zelda machine with my fingers crossed that the futures going to be filled with goodness. I was always going to but Nintendo now need to convince the rest of you. I really hope they do. 

2017 Hype: Games

I start 2017 with a backlog of 7 games, 4 bits of DLC, 3 games on my Amazon wish list and a shiny new Nintendo console pre-ordered. It’s going to be busy…

I tell you this because when I hype up 2017 games I know I probably won’t play half of them to 2018. Apart from Zelda obviously. Breath of the Wild is the first big new Zelda title since 2011’s Skyward Sword (do we count Link Between Worlds?). To say I’m anticipating it is a bejassive understatement. This game will consume my hours and stretch my smiling muscles to breaking point. Id describe its visual splendour but when I picture it my mind goes in to a trance like state of bliss. A Zelda that breaks from traditions set in stone since Ocarina. A Zelda that accompanies a brand new console.

As I write this we’re 11 days away from a show that will unveil the games, the release date and bundles of epic-ness relating to the Nintendo Switch. This is the biggie, my primary gaming purchase of the year. Currently set for release at some point in March and with little known about it other than what’s in that swanky trailer. It’s a tablet that you can take on a bus, that you can dock at home and play on your TV, that you can remove the controllers from and enjoy two player Mario Kart in the work break area. Not that I’ll be doing that, what if their hands are covered in food? Pfft. As a biased Nintendo fan I’d buy it no matter what but I want it to succeed and with this I really feel they will. Nintendo seem different, their approach to marketing and their products in general are in an unpredictable place (you did not see the NES Mini, Mario Run and theme park rides coming) Plus the last time they picked themselves up from such a position of failure we got the Wii. So hurrah!!

Other stuff for me will be on the PS4. The amount of games releasing between now and March is crazy and there’s to be some causalities there in sales numbers. Gravity Rush 2 looks like a lush improvement on the fun first game, although its’ a bit niche and who the flip buys games in January. Resident Evil 7 will prove me wrong there and probably sell bucket loads. Not sure it’s for me, mainly because I’m a scaredy cat and the whole first person horror thing creeps me out. Imagine playing that in VR?? No no no, burn it with fire and run away.

February has got three big releases but I’m being picky/budgeting so it’s only Horizon for me. An open world RPG in which you hunt robot dinosaurs. Yes really. Whilst I’m sceptical about how the story is going to explain that one, I’m pretty damn excited to hunt robot dinosaurs with some futuristic bow type thing. Plus visually it’s a real looker.

March is all Nintendo and I’ve covered that. April sees Yooka–Laylee finally come out, a tribute to the beauties Rare made in the N64 days. Similar in structure to Mario 64 but with a quirky British sense of humour, Banjo-Kazooie was a real gem. Hopefully this game is a worthy successor.

The rest of year is less concrete when it comes to release dates but we have a good idea of what’s coming before next Christmas. Uncharted gets an extra chapter, this time focusing on the female cast members. Crash Bandicoot gets remastered and I’m not really that interested but I’m getting it anyway. So says my wife, who apparently loved the original in the PS1 days. A remaster I am intrigued by though is Wipeout, because making my eyes bleed by driving futuristic vehicles at 500mph was always fun.  

There’s going to be plenty more but it’s hard to say for sure what it’ll make it this year. Titles announced last E3 that seem too far off include Spider-Man and God of War. E3 takes place in June and that’s when we’ll know how Santa’s sack is going to be filled (oo er…) I couldn’t talk about the year in gaming and not mention the shows. I spend as much time reading and talking about games as I do playing. I book E3 off work and treat with greater anticipation than my birthday. The rumour mill and hype trains fill my days in those gaps between trying to be an adult and making ‘your ma,’ jokes.

Of course when I do all that reading and talking I’ll end up discovering about fifty more games I need to play. I haven’t mentioned a single indie yet but I’ll play a ton. They’re tricky to judge on trailers but when other folk have spent their pennies I’ll consume their thoughts and make some educated purchases. Plus we all love a surprise don’t we? I eagerly await telling you about some amazing game that I don’t yet know exists. Throw them at me 2017, I’m ready.

2017 Hype: Movies

2017 is finally here. So far this year I’ve eaten loads, played some stuff, eaten some more, watched some stuff, eaten for the sake of eating and I’ve a had a wee cry upon a set of scales. It was an eventful day. But what’s next on the agenda? Geekery and hype! (and a diet)

There’s plenty coming for me to do a happy dance over and probably plenty more that hasn’t even been announced yet. This blog will miss stuff but sure if it’s good it’ll appear in some other word jamboree down the line. Films first? Aye go on then.

Trainspotting 2!!! Finally… It’s been hinted at for years and I had pretty much given up on it ever happening but it’ll be here by the end of this freaking month. Of course after such a wait and with the original being such a classic, there’s massive potential for this to not meet expectations. Fingers crossed…. Before that though January also includes La La Land and When a Monster Calls. It’s only in the past month that I’ve been excited for this pair but that’s long enough to get my money.

There’s another Star Wars film this year but you knew that already and I can’t be bothered talking about it until I get a trailer at least. This year’s other big films include my other favourite things, superheroes and monkeys. War for the Planet of the Apes is the third in the trilogy of ‘well this is way better than I thought it’d be’ monkey-fests. You surprised me twice but I’ll not fall for that again. Expectations are larger than King Kong’s banana stash. Speaking of which…. Kong: Skull Island looks like the brooding monster movie I’ve wanted since the last Godzilla trailers came out. Hopefully this time we get a good film as well…

COMIC FILMS!!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. If you know me on a personal level then you know how much I love the first film. The soundtrack, the performances, the sheer genius of a script that introduces so much of a universe including the five of the most fleshed out and endearing characters of any film ever. I adore it. I want more and I trust it will be good, my only concern is that though the rapport and action can be continued, the emotional hook of Starlord’s mother is a vital element of the original that might not be repeatable. Even if it’s not as good as the first I’ll probably still be calling it film of the year in 12 months’ time. Splurge.

Spider-Man Homecoming… Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 is still in my top ten things in life and since then we’ve had three films ranging from ‘just alright,’ to ‘did they put DC in charge of this shit biscuit?’ New start though with another new lead and the long awaited folding of this world in to the larger Marvel/Avengers-verse. The brief glimpse we had of Tom Holland in Civil War was enough to convince me that he’s a damn good Peter Parker. The nervous fast-talking to the confident wise-cracking and the fact he’s actually a teenager for a change.

Logan is the first comic film of the year, I think… Trailer was great with a beaut of a soundtrack choice and a new setting for Hugh Jackman’s sideburn adorned berserker. Looks like it’ll be his final outing for the character and I should have high hopes but…. The last two Wolverine movies sucked. Third and final time’s the charm hopefully. Thor Ragnarok comes swinging in November and this time he’s bringing Hulk along for the ride. That’s all I need to know right now. I’m expecting a super-powered buddy movie with the two funniest Avengers (if we ignore how dull they made Hulk in A2)

The jury is out on the new DC pair but I’ll include them because I know I’ll be going to see them anyway. I can’t get excited for Justice League because it’s from the director and writers as the BvS. Maybe they’ll have learned their lesson this time and I genuinely hope it is good. Wonder Woman admittedly does look nifty. The trailers got action aplenty and throws in a sense of humour (something sorely lacking from DC so far). If it was Marvel I’d be gleefully declaring how good it’s going to be but I can’t help but keep expectations in check. At least that way I can’t be disappointed. Like with Suicide Squad. I’m still bitter. There’s one DC film that I do trust to be brilliant however, LEGO Batman. The LEGO Movie was comedic genius and this is the follow up. More Will Arnett, more poking the fun at the moodiest character in comics. Can’t fudging wait.  

And there’s way more films than that. Alien, Power Rangers, John Wick 2 etc etc. Far more than I’ll have time to see or money to spend on. Last year I managed about 16 cinema trips and yet this year I’m already dead set on three in January. Overtime will be required to fund ticket purchases, gym trips a necessity to compensate for the popcorn I’ll consume. It’s not easy being a cinema goer…